


Insentience

by metamorcy



Category: Gintama
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-28
Updated: 2013-05-28
Packaged: 2017-12-13 07:18:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/821532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metamorcy/pseuds/metamorcy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He really shouldn't have taken this job, knowing full well about the consequences and yet, he couldn't stop himself. Even when he suddenly wanted to protect his target. Gintoki X Zenzou</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insentience

Zenzou hated that white-haired samurai. The man was always interrupting his jobs at the worst times or appearing randomly at the strangest moments. And what the hell was with this guy and his obsession for hitting _his_ ass? Seriously! Whenever that guy was around, his ass always seemed to be the one that got stabbed and damaged the most! Couldn't they see that he was already bleeding out of there already? Whether it was by Gintoki's stupid scooter or that one time Ayame stuck a needle up there, it always happened whenever that Jump samurai was around. Does he have some kind of damn red target circling his butthole, or was there was sign that was blinking in bright red letters saying 'Hit here! I have Hemorrhoids!'?

He just hated that man. It was all his fault for everything. All of his pain and misery was caused because of him and only him.

But deep inside, he had to admit that the other had a good heart…somewhere deep, deep, _deep_ inside, buried underneath all that sugar, evilness and sarcasm. After all, Gintoki had been willing to save Ayame (much to his unwillingness and destruction of his house) despite his deep hatred and annoyance for her, and Tsukuyo from Jiraia regardless of the high odds of him dying, and even help people he barely even knew. No matter how much Zenzou hated Gintoki, he had to admit, the other was strong, brave, and kindhearted (only in certain situations, since he was a slob and a jerk in most other situations, Zenzou noted).

So why the hell was he actually following this idiotic man around?

Zenzou grumbled under his breath, hiding in the shadows, while peering over to the white-haired samurai below on the streets. 'Why am I doing this? Oh, yeah…I have a job to do.' Just hours ago, he had received a job offer to watch over Gintoki and, if possible, take him out. His pay would almost triple if he managed to succeed in his assassination. At first, he had been a little shocked in hearing those words and actually tilted his head to finger the insides of his ear to clear out the imaginary earwax. He needed, no, wanted to make absolutely sure he had been hearing right. But when the contractor repeated the same words, Zenzou had no choice but to take the job. It paid wonderfully, enough to keep him on his feet for another year or two and repair all the damages done to his home after those three idiots messed around with it. But to kill the other…

He wasn't sure he could pull that off. The last time they fought, he had lost terribly. Gintoki even beat Jiraia, someone even _he_ didn't dare bother with due to the man's insane reservoirs of strength and power. Just thinking in taking the other out was probably impossible.

'Why did I take this damn offer if I knew I couldn't kill him? I should have just denied it. But if I didn't take it, someone else would…' Zenzou sighed, leaning against the side of a building in a shopping center. His entire body was concealed in the darkness of the alley, unseen by untrained eyes. His eyes, hidden underneath dark bangs, tracked the Jump samurai along the road. So far, nothing had really happened. Gintoki seemed to go through the day with his daily laziness, messing around either at home or at someone else's place and racking up bills.

There was just nothing interesting to note about him at all.

The man just did whatever he wanted even when he visited other people. 'This is so boring…' Zenzou leaned over onto some railing, his eyes watching Gintoki settle into a sweet shop to buy some dangos.

"I want to read some Jump. The new one doesn't come out until next week. I want to read the new chapter about Ichigo, I wonder if he'll be-" Suddenly, he found himself tensing, sensing a threatening presence nearby and closing in. Jumping up to his feet, balancing himself on the metal bars, he eyed the surrounding area until he glanced towards Gintoki's location. At the very corner of the shop was another person and with his precise and sharp eyes noticed something gray underneath the table, pointing towards Gintoki's direction. 'Another assassin?' He unconsciously pulled a kunai from his blue suit, taking immediate aim. Gintoki was paying no attention to his surroundings, continuing to eat as if nothing was wrong.

'Well, he's going to die at long last. It's not my problem.' Zenzou was about to leave when he stopped at the last moment to stare at the albino. He grinded his teeth together as he watched his enemy slowly started to pull the trigger. At the last second, he threw his tiny blade, watching it impaled its target right at the forehead. The enemy flipped back and collapsed onto the ground with a loud thump.

Then all was quiet as people glanced over curiously, trying to figure out what was going on. As the thought of someone dead right in front of them slowly processed in their minds, they jumped up immediately from their seats, screaming the entire way out. People trampled by Gintoki, running out into the streets, which attracted more attention to the scene. The silver-haired man just sat in his seat, finishing up his little dessert and stood up once he ate the last dango, tossing the stick to the side as if nothing happened. Zenzou couldn't help but find it strange that Gintoki wasn't acting like his usual self or panicking about the dead body.

But in the midst of that, the ninja had better things to think about. Like why did he just help his target? 'What the fuck am I doing?' he screamed mentally, banging his head against the wall beside him. He had hit hard enough to draw blood, letting it drip down his face in thin lines and heard it splatter along the ground. 'I'm supposed to kill him! Not save that no-good arrogant bastard!'

He eventually stopped trying to destroy his brain cells and peered down at the perm-haired man as he began moving down the street.

'Maybe I killed that assassin because I wanted to be the one to kill Jump Samurai…Yeah, that's it. It has to be!' Zenzou continued to follow the other from above, keeping an eye out for any other assassins. 'But why are there others? Did that man not trust me to take him out by myself?'

As the ninja thought that, he spotted another figure among the crowd, getting closer towards Gintoki. The person slipped through with ease like a ghost among the people. Zenzou grinded his teeth again and raced down the wall of the building, dashing through the crowd unseen. He was nothing more than a breeze, a blur to the normal eye. Immediately upon reaching his target, he grabbed the enemy from behind and dragged the assassin towards a back alley, slitting the throat precisely along the way. With no hesitation, Zenzou tossed the body onto the ground behind the buildings and took great care in hiding the corpse beneath the trash so that no one would be able to notice until the trashman came to pick it up days later. He stared at his work and sighed. Just what the hell was he doing?

Zenzou kneeled down and ran a hand through his hair, scratching his scalp. His long blue scarf scattered around his body and he stared down. The ninja was almost unaware of a presence behind him.

"So you're the reason for all the strange events around me." Zenzou picked his head up to stare at the person that was standing in front of the alley, his shadow stretching across the ground. "I should have known. Oi! You owe me some dangos. The last batch got ruined by you!"

A tick mark appeared on Zenzou's head. "Oi, oi, oi! What the hell are you talking about? You skipped out on paying, you bastard! And you didn't even finished that batch you had in your hand! I saw you! Why the hell do I have to pay?"

"Because you ruined the mood," Gintoki grumbled, patting the ninja on the shoulder.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"To settle things, buy me a strawberry parfait." Gintoki grabbed the other man, dragging him off.

Zenzou was still yelling as he was pulled along. "Hey! Hey! Listen to me, damnit!" He panicked slightly when he was brought out into the open for everyone to see. Some glanced over to him but no one really cared. Still, Zenzou didn't want anyone to know the existence of ninjas. "Let go! And anyway, you should be owing me! I'm the one who's been saving your sorry ass!"

"Is that so…? Oh well, you still owe me."

"What kind of screwed up logic is that?"

Gintoki paid no attention to the other's words and continued on his merry way towards his favorite restaurant.

"Oi! Listen to me!"

Before Zenzou realized it, he was settled into a booth across from Gintoki. His shadowed eyes watched as the perm-haired man devour the sugary dessert within minutes. If he listened carefully, he could probably hear the poor food screaming for mercy.

"Well? What do you want? Surely you didn't drag me all the way here to pay for your food." the ninja was leaning against the counter, his elbow held up with his face leaning against it.

Gintoki paused for a second, his dead-looking red eyes staring at the other, and blinked twice. He had the tiny spoon in his mouth, the long end dangling off. Suddenly, his eyes shifted to the side.

The ninja snapped, tick marks appearing all over his head. "Bastard! Don't force random people to pay for your food!" he got up from his seat, slamming his hands down onto the table. The loud sound attracted attention, heads turning towards their direction. Zenzou was starting to leave but right as he got out the booth, Gintoki reached over to grab hold of his long scarf that was trailing behind and gave a hard yank. Because of that, Zenzou fell back, crashing right back into the seat. "What the hell are you trying to pull?"

"Hold on, you still haven't told me what's going on," Gintoki muttered under his breath, the spoon still in his mouth. "That wasn't the first person who came after me today."

"How many have you taken out?" Zenzou froze, curiosity taking over his need to escape and stared across the table. How many people were called on before him?

"I think about three. Two more today and then you, so six in total. They tried to attack me when I was home, so I left to keep them away from the kids." Gintoki let go of the scarf and instead went for his spoon. When he did so, there was a popping sound that was created and used it to scoop more ice cream. Zenzou stood there for a few seconds before settling down back into his seat. He leaned back against the cushion and folded his arms across his chest. As Gintoki continued to eat, the ninja sighed, deep in thought.

'Damn old man, didn't trust me to take care of this by myself. But what to do now? I've clearly betrayed the contract. I doubt I'll get paid the rest of the money now.' Zenzou ran a hand through his long bangs and sighed again. He glared at the person across him. "You're always so troubling, you know that? Why is it that whenever I get involved with you, I'm the one that suffers?"

"Maybe you like Gin-chan?" Gintoki smirked, aggressively devouring his dessert. "Everyone loves Gin-chan."

"Go die, asshole!" Zenzou slammed his hands down onto the table before reaching into his garb, tossing a blade over to the far right, straight into a corner of the building. Its tip hit its target right in the throat, the assassin falling back, obviously dead if the blood that was shooting out of the throat didn't mean anything. Zenzou looked normal despite what he had done and soon after face-palmed by habit of dealing with this outrageous man, grumbling about the stupid perm-haired samurai.

"Hey, Isomura-kun."

"It's Zenzou!"

"Should I give you an early reward for all you've done?"

The ninja glanced up curiously only to find a spoon being shoved into his mouth…quite painfully. He made a yelp in agony, holding both his jaw and teeth, hoping that none of his teeth had been broken. Slipping his tongue over them, he relaxed, they were all still intact. A glare appeared beneath his bangs and as he grumbled, blood was dripping out. He could taste the overly sweet goodness mixed with the copper taste of blood and sneered. "Don't give me something I paid for back!"

"So picky. You got an indirect kiss from Gin-chan. That's a good enough reward."

"Who would want a reward like that?" Zenzou screamed, catching all of the customer's attention. He slammed down his hands onto the table, hearing it rattle. The salt and pepper shakers fumbled over the movement, almost toppling over. "Why is it that whenever you're around, I get so exhausted? You always tire me out with your fucking nonsense!"

A dangerous smirk suddenly appeared on Gintoki's face. "I know more than one way to tire you out."

Zenzou could only stare, a red tint appearing on his face as the words sunk in. "Damn you…" he immediately tossed another kunai across the room towards another assassin. It hit its target like always and the ninja before Gintoki could only grumble under his breath for doing all the work. Gintoki tossed the clean spoon into the empty glass container that once contained a parfait and reached down to his wooden sword, stabbing it through the cushions behind him. There was a sharp cry and then silence. "What have I done to deserve such treatment? I haven't done anything wrong…except for that time. But it was that old bat's faults. It's her problem for walking out into the road like that."

"Hey! Did you seriously kill an old lady? That's the reason why they're after you?"

The samurai stood up from his spot, making his way out of the booth with Zenzou right behind. His little finger reached up to dig into his ear scooping out earwax that wasn't there. Sighing, he walked out of the building as if nothing happened. The doors opened and the two could feel multiple eyes sizing them up. Gintoki showed no care and kept going while Zenzou paused for a moment before following.

"Hey, Isomura-kun."

"It's Hattori, get it right!" By accident, he yelled out his first name out instead.

Gintoki paused, glancing back at the other with an unusual soft smile. "Alright, Hattori, let's go. I think we should head that way."

"W-whatever, I don't care anymore. Do what you want. Stupid Jump Samurai…" Hattori sighed, shoulders sagging downward, giving up on even trying to change the other's mind. It was impossible. Though, he couldn't deny the odd shiver that went down his spine when the samurai said his name correctly. It felt…strangely good. And it didn't help that he couldn't deny the fact that his cheeks heated up lightly as his name was repeated to him within his mind. 'Damn that bastard, I hate him so much. I wished I never took this damn job then maybe I wouldn't have met him. Oh well, it can't be helped now.'

The ninja scratched his hair, tossing a kunai towards the side to take out another assassin without a care. 'Well, there's nothing wrong with this. Might as well go along.' He took another glance up towards the other and grumbled. He could feel his heartbeat quickening its pace within the confines of his chest. It was almost painful. Hattori groaned at his fate. 'I'm so fucked.'


End file.
